Switzerland has long been a country of confused identity, best illustrated by the fact that it has five main language groups: French, German, Romansh, Italian….and Hard Currency. And as you will discover, when two cultures converge (particularly those of ‘Italian’ and ‘Hard Currency’) hitherto immutable laws of nature can be violated, giving rise to the most unspeakable of horrors.
A (click here) monstrously franken-fake Omega Constellation appearing on the international watch sales forum Chrono.24 is one such desecration of the natural order of things. Listed by a Swiss-Italian Franken-Maestro hiding behind the online pseudonimo of ‘Lorologiese’, this poor wretch has risen from Dottore Lorologiese’s laboratory a tortured miscellany of body parts. Let’s separate them so as to reveal the true loathsomeness of his act:
- A fake (probably Chinese) dial. If you look carefully, you will note that the applied Omega logo has crude joins between the lettering whereas the real lettering is joined subtly and recessed. You will also note a lack of serif font on the upper-case lettering, and of course it fails the MOY test. The constellation script is faulty in many respects: the main flags being incorrect Ns, incorrect upward slant of the first T, lack of serif fonts and the star located far too close to the lettering. The markers do not have the customary onyx inserts and black paint appears in the recesses to create the appearance of onyx;
- The case back number is shown as 14381. A quick visit to the Omega Vintage Database will reveal a case of completely different design to that appearing in the listing. In fact, the case appears to be the non-hidden crown case 168.0010;
- The movement is shown as a calibre 550 adjusted to two positions and appears to be in good condition. Problem is that calibre 550 never powered Omega Constellations. This movement was probably repatriated from an Omega Geneve.
Read the listing however and you receive not a hint of the watch’s origins, rather you are told it that the watch is an “Original 1961 all steel Constellation”, repeat, “guaranteed original”. Dottore Lorologiese lies so sweetly throughout the description that I’m convinced he would have no trouble at all selling pork belly futures to an Ayatollah! Such brazenness, such ambiguity – all designed to repudiate any comebacks.
If we were to follow the Frankenstein story faithfully, we would arm an unruly mob with weapons-grade chianti, whip ‘em up into a lynching frenzy and simply point them in the direction of Dottore Lorologiese’s dungeon. Sadly, the laws of civilisation frown upon such manipulations, and so we are left to dream of the good old days when retributive justice could be swift and so awesomely bloody.
POSTSCRIPT: I am delighted to report that this listing has been withdrawn
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