For those who are interested in how the Ancient Order of Frankenmeisters practice their Evil Magic, view this eBay listing. It’s a true exemplar of the work of a high priest of this subterranean world of playing God with lonely, loose parts looking around for a warm balance cock to make their life complete.
This monster has been listed by eBay seller jjw2838 who, surprisingly, still clings on to 100% feedback (but perhaps not for long). While I am neither suggesting he knows, or doesn’t know, that this watch is an unholy union of different Omega watch models, I am suggesting that someone behind jjw2838’s electronic store front does!
Notice that jjw2838 sells a lot of parts and bitsa Rolexes, and so it can be assumed that parts know their way around him. Perhaps the magnetic fields on some of them are so powerful that they attract each other into fully functioning movements? After all, we are talking “bubble, Bubble, Toil and Trouble” here!
So, which body parts were exhumed to produce this Seamaster abomination? Well, Lets start with the case, which does indeed look like the case shape of a model 165.002, as indicated by the inner case back. So, we can extrapolate that our Frankenmeister first stole into some watch graveyard and dug up a case 165.002.
As any good mortician would do, our Frankenmeister then proceeded to remove all (or most) of case 165.002’s vital organs. We know this, because case 165.002 should have innards upon which are stamped the calibre number 552! (Check the Omega database for the reference 165.0002)
We also know from birth records at Omega that calibre 552 came into this world blind, and, yet, the high priest behind jjw2838’s Seamaster has given it one eye, through which we can view the days of the month!!!! Cross yourselves and smother your bodies with Garlic – QUICKLY!
In looking at the very clean, almost new looking, calibre 562 that now sits in the body of the formerly deceased case 165.002, we notice that the rotor bridge is stamped “Adjusted to five (5) positions and temperature”. Now, some would assume that fully a certified calibre 562 (there were some) was simply removed from its worn out body and placed in 165.002’s lifeless carcass. But, is that really likely?
Could we believe that a Frankmeister would be so stupid as to swap the complete innards from a chronometer graded watch without making sure that the Frankenmonster’s face depicted that a chronometer was beating within? Surely it would be too great a temptation? No, another trip to the graveyard is a more likely scenario, where some newly interred wretch of a chronometer was relieved of its rotor bridge and rotor.
Finally we arrive at the complexion of the dial. One may chance upon slightly swarthy Seamasters of this vintage, but remember these models were produced in grey, dreary Western Switzerland and had a pallor similar to that on blades of grass completely deprived of sunlight. Their faces do not have the rich, dark colour tones of deepest Africa or widows who have retired to Southern Florida. They are decidedly pallid! So, this not-so-smart, but highly competent, Frankenmeister has produced an effect similar to that of putting the head of Robert Mugabe on to the body of Ana Ivanović!
It’s all such a pity really, because the person behind this truly hideous creation could, with the appropriate epiphany, use his not inconsiderable skills in restoring watches as close to the factory specifications as possible. Funny how some people are attracted to the dark side in spite of an easier path, isn’t it?
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